


I owe it to myself

by creepychan025



Series: This love left a permanent mark [3]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix It, If You Squint - Freeform, Not Incest, Reunion, idk what it is but i love jonrya so, implied tho?, little angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 21:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16941246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepychan025/pseuds/creepychan025
Summary: "We're going straight to the Eastwatched-by-the-sea and meet up with Tormund." Ser Davos informed the King of brooding. "I already sent a raven. It should arrive days before us. You said he would be willing to help.""No." Jon said making the frown in Davos face deepened. "We're stopping by at the Winterfell shortly before going to the Eastwatched-by-the-sea.""Your grace--""This is a suicide mission, you said so yourself, then its all the more reason I need to go to Winterfell." Jon said with conviction. "I need to see Bran and Arya. I owe it to myself."A FIX IT. Because Jon's reaction in the show is such a shame.





	I owe it to myself

**Author's Note:**

> i own nothing
> 
> also just slightly proof ready so i'm apologizing in advance. all mistakes are mine

Lord Varys informed the King in the North that a raven carrying a letter from Winterfell arrived at the Dragon Stone earlier that day but he’s been busy mining dragon glass to see it. When he open the sealed letter Jon didn’t have any expectation, he thought it was just another report of happenings in Winterfell, so when he finally finished reading the letter that Sansa herself wrote, he couldn’t believe his eyes and proceed to read it again. He read the letter again and again until he was sure that each words were engraved in his heart and soul.

_Arya and Bran has arrived in Winterfell._

_Arya and Bran._

_Arya._

The words keep ringing inside his head that he could almost hear Sansa’s voice saying those words. Jon knew he have to go, there’s no way he could stay in Dragon Stone knowing that his long lost little sister and brother have finally come home.

“There’s another letter your grace,” Davos said gesturing to another small parchment that arrived together with Sansa’s letter.

Jon pick it up and read it, his whole body froze after he’s done. It was a letter from Bran carrying news about the Night King, and its a bad kind of news. A kind of news he would never believe if not for his own experience, at this point there's nothing he couldn't believe. The young king clench his fist before standing up, he already made his decision.

Informing them of his decision was not easy, especially conversing with the ruthless dragon queen and her advisers but if Jon need to remind them of his status then so be it. After hours of debating they finally come to an agreement. It might be a suicide mission but it is for the best interest of his people.

So there they are, on the way to North; boarding a small ship. Jon stay at his small room starring at the partchment of letter he received earlier even if the words don't make sense anymore.

"We we're going straight to the Eastwatched-by-the-sea and meet up with Tormund." Ser Davos informed the King of brooding. "I already sent a raven. It should arrive days before us. You said he would be willing to help."

Davos stare at his King's usual sullen expression, he almost turn around to inform their men of the decision so they could discuss the best route when Jon suddenly speak.

"No." Jon said making the frown in Davos face deepened. "We're stopping by at the Winterfell shortly before going to the Eastwatched-by-the-sea."

"We don't have time--"

"We will make time." Jon said, voice booming in the silent room.

"Your grace--"

"This is a suicide mission, you said so yourself, then its all the more reason I need to go to Winterfell." Jon said with conviction. "I need to see Bran and Arya. I owe it to myself."

Davos study his King's face before nodding. "I understand, your Grace." He know there's nothing he could do or say to change Jon's decision. With one more nod of goodbye he exit the room leaving Jon alone with his own thoughts.

_I'm almost there, wait for me._

"Your Grace, it's getting dark and we're still couple of hours away from Winterfell." One of the soldiers inform Jon, they've been riding for hours with only stopping one time to let the horse rest. "At this rate we will reach Winterfell at past midnight. I suggest to camp here and continue our travel on the morrow."

Jon pull the reins of his horse to slow it down before turning his head to glare at the brave soldier. Ser Davos speak before Jon even have a chance to open his mouth.

"I'm not from North your grace, but even I can tell its wise to stop and make a camp for tonight. The wind and snow are harsh, its not safe for everyone to keep pushing through." Ser Davos reason knowing Jon too well.

Jon furrowed his brows before sighing. He open and close his mouth but can't find the words to say so he ended up just nodding his head at his right hand man. He wanted to continue travelling no matter what but he can't deny that they have a point, its not safe. The wind will blow their torch and they can't travel in darkness, the snow will make it more harder not to mention some wild animals that they might encounter. He don't want to stop but he know that he have to wait. And because Winterfell is near, it will make waiting much more harder. He groan to himself before dismounting his own horse.

 

Jon jerked out of sleep when he felt something wet on his nose. He was greeted by a menacing red pair of eyes. He blink his own grey eyes a couple of times before the air on his lungs abandoned him, a loud gasps escape his lips.

_Ghost!_

He wrap his arms around the beast, allowing a small smile grace his lips. "I miss you buddy." Since he's already up and he know there's no way he could go back to sleep, he decided to get up and leave his tent. "I'm going back to Winterfell but I'm afraid we have to wait for a couple of hours." Jon said to Ghost who's silently trailing beside him.

They are walking around the snow covered woods, the wind is harsh and unforgiving yet Jon found comfort in its coldness. He doesn't miss the sunny weather in Dragonstone one bit.

"Have you seen her, Ghost?" Jon can't help asking the direwolf. Everyday, he never stop wondering about his sister. He never thought he will ever see her again, he gave up about that long time ago after so many disappointments.

Jon and Ghost spent a couple of hours wondering around the woods before the sun decided to make its presence known. The soldiers already break their fast when the duo arrive at their little camp; Ser Davos spotted them immediately with knowing look on his face after seeing the direwolve.

"Your Grace," he nod his head in greeting. "Your fast is ready and the soldiers are already preparing to leave."

Jon's nod his head and follow Ser Davos, he's the embodiment of a calm and collected King but on the inside he can feel his whole body vibrating with anticipation. He ate in silence, rode his horse in silence, comanded his soldiers in silence but his mind is screaming, his heart is beating wildly inside his chest and his whole body is tense. Only Ser Davos, who's been with him for some time, can only tell.

Their journey proved to be harder than anticipated. The Winter has come, the road is twice dangerous than it already is and the wind is harsher than ever. Jon only stop cursing inside his head when he saw the castle's gate, it was late in the afternoon and the sun was already preparing to retreat in its hideout. He exhale in mixture of relief and nervousness before snapping the reigns of his horse and rode in full gallop towards the snow covered castle with Ghost trailing behind him.

He doesn't need to stop and demand an entrance because the young King can already hear the guards screaming to open the wide gate. He didn't stop to greet his men instead he rode straight to the stables and jump out of his horse.

It took every fiber in his body not to run like a child but his steps are wide and fast. He noticed that Ghost are nowhere to be seen but he paid no mind because at this moment he only have mission and that is to see his sister. He burst inside Arya's old chamber and quickly scan the area.

"Arya?" He called out even though the room is clearly empty, hoping Arya will come out under the bed like she used to do whenever she's trying to escape Septa Mordane or her Lady Mother and Sister. He was answered with silence and his knees almost give out.

"Jon?" A familiar voice called his name, but not the voice he is hoping for. He turn around and saw Sansa standing at the door. "I thought I misheard the guard when they inform me of your arrival."

"Sansa." He forced a smile.

"I haven't seen her since midday meal," Sansa answered Jon's unasked question with an apologetic smile. "Don't worry, she never fails to join us for supper but for now come with me, Bran is expecting you since yesterday."

The young King in the North nod his head and follow his sister, turning his head every now and then hoping to catch a glimpse of an elusive she-wolf.

"Jon," Sansa said while they are walking towards Bran's chamber. "Arya... she's..."

"She's what?" Jon asked, heart racing at the thought that something bad happened to his sister.

"She's not the same, they both are."

"All of us are not the same as before, Sansa." He said, eyes looking far away. "And that's alright. What's important is we're all together. We've come back home."

Sansa smile at him eyes shining with unshed tears that she would never allow to fall.

His face broke into a wide smile when he finally saw Bran. He ran into his younger brother and engulf him in a warm hug. "I'm happy to see you, Bran."

"I'm glad you have arrived, your journey back home has been hard now that the Winter has finally come." Bran said with neutral voice. "I have a very important information to tell you."

Jon look at his brother before looking back at Sansa, contemplating his words.

"This couldn't wait," Bran said as if he's able to read Jon's thought.

"You wouldn't find her anyway unless she let you find her so might as well talk to Bran for the mean time." Sansa said with a small smile.

Jon open his mouth then close it again, unable to find words to say, wondering if both of his siblings can actually read his mind.

"She's always been your favorite." Sansa said as if that's enough explanation, maybe it is.

The young King sigh before nodding his head, he pull a chair to sat in front of his brother and giving him his full attention. "I read your message, is it true? What you said about the... Night King?"

"Night King?" Sansa repeated, deep frown marring her flawless face.

"King of the Undead," he said even though he know Sansa still don't believe him completely.

"I have a vision," Bran said looking directly into Jon's eyes.

 

JON look around the dining hall for what seems like a hundred times already, surverying the room hoping to see a familiar face but was once again faced with disappointment. Sansa prepare a supper for everyone, neither big nor small, in celebration of his comeback.  The supper is coming to its end and yet Arya fail to show up, he is starting to get worried.

"Maybe she doesn't want to see me," Jon said to no one in particular, downing his ale.

Sansa smile at him apologetically. "Maybe she lost track of time?"

"I have to leave early on the morrow." He almost snapped at her. He sigh when Sansa look away."Forgive me, my Lady. I'm just exhausted. The road back home is not kind."

"Maybe you should retire to your chamber." Sansa suggested with a kind smile on her face, taking no offense at Jon's behavior. "I will send someone to inform you the moment she arrive."

"I would appreciate that, thank you." He said before standing up. "Excuse me."

"Would you like me to accompany you, your Grace?" Davos said.

"No, thank you." Without any other words, Jon leave the Dining Hall. He decided to head straight to the Godswood with only the light of the moon to guide him.

He is almost at the heart tree when he felt another presence, someone was following him and it took him too long to notice. He's been too consumed by his thought that he almost missed it. He grip Longclaw's hilt and observe his surroundings silently while walking slowly. It's only one person so he allow himself to breath. Though it must be a very skilled assasin because it is very quick and silent. Fortunately, Jon's experiences in wilderness beyond the wall honed his senses.

Jon unsheathe Longclaw when he arrived at the heart tree. "Reveal yourself," he demand to whoever is following him. Slowly, a figure emerge in the dark revealing an unfamiliar yet familiar face he thought he willnever see again.

"Hello, Jon."

It's Arya.

**Author's Note:**

> supposed to be one part story but i'm too impatient to wait so.. the second part is coming soon *cross fingers* 
> 
> reviews are highly appreciated :)


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